Fancy a tipple? Perhaps you'll want to practice a little bit more sobriety when you see the drinks we've got behind the bar.
From a cocktail that's garnished with a human body part to wine made from seagull, here are the world's weirdest and most disturbing alcoholic concoctions straight off the top shelf.
Warning: Some images are quite graphic.
1. Three-Penis Liquor
Three-Penis Liquor. The drink you take to a party when you don't want anyone stealing your alcohol (image: John Pasden)
Let's kick this list off with a wang (sorry) ... or three. Containing seal penis, deer penis and Cantonese dog penis, this Chinese beverage is said to increase male potency and virility. With an alcohol volume of 30 per cent it's more likely to do the opposite.
2. Seagull Wine
Here I was thinking seagulls were only good for hot chip battles (image: Getty)
You can't fault the resourcefulness of the Inuit at creating a drop of the 'good stuff'. With little else around, they've invented a home-made recipe you probably wouldn't want passed down the family tree: one dead seagull stuffed into a water bottle and left to ferment in the sun.
3. Baby Mouse Wine
Scorpions and worms I can handle. Baby mice? No. Just no.
Take a shot of morbidity with this one. A traditional Chinese and Korean health drink, this wine is created by drowning baby mice in rice wine and fermenting for one year. The massacre isn't easily forgotten, thanks to a pile of dead mice resting at the bottom of every bottle. If you can stomach the wine (and the thought), you'll apparently receive health benefits (and probably night terrors).
4. Sourtoe Cocktail
It's a $2,500 fine for swallowing the toe. Not that you should need a monetary reason (image: Sourtoe Cocktail Club via Facebook)
There are only two ingredients to this cocktail: alcohol and one dehydrated human toe. The Sourtoe Cocktail now has its own club in Yukon, and in order to join you'll need to order any drink and let the bartender drop a toe inside. There's only one rule: "You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but the lips have gotta touch the toe."
5. Pulque
Add a few tablespoons of Milo and I'm set
Here's one alcoholic drink you could sneak into a festival. Hailing from Mexico, Pulque looks like an innocent glass of milk, but the similarities end there. It's made by fermenting the milky sap of the maguey plant and if you can handle the sour yeast-like taste, your only problem will be convincing security why you're bringing 'milk' into a festival.
6. Ttongsul (aka Faeces Wine)
Unfiltered Ttongsul. Vice's Yuka Uchida tried the finished product in a Vice documentary (below) and had the expected reaction (image: Vice via YouTube)
The South Koreans take the buck for creating the most brow-raising drink on this menu. Ttongsul is made by fermenting a young child's faeces for several months. Why so specific? Apparently the poo is "more pure", but they might just be hiding insanity under details. The medicinal drink is considered capable of treating cuts, bruises and other ailments.
At about $13 for 110ml you wouldn't want to develop a taste for Reindeer Horn Whiskey (image: Thailand Unique)
Thailand has taken a crack at the whiskey market, adding a little twist to their product by infusing white rice whiskey with reindeer antlers. I can't imagine this is the most accessible or affordable ingredient to choose, but who am I to squash someone's whiskey dreams.
8. Birch Sap Wine
Making birch sap wine takes technique, patience and a serious want for birch sap wine (image: Daniel Bostock via YouTube)
The crucial birch sap ingredient for this wine can only be harvested during a two-week period every year. People have been making syrup and wine out of the sweet sap for centuries and by all reports it's not a bad drop. To harvest you literally have to 'tap' a birch tree and let the sap drip out into a bottle. It's a painfully slow process, only slightly faster than growing grass.
9. Bush Beer
Passing the coconut during a tumunus (image: Kieran Scott)
Visit the Cook Islands and you might find yourself part of a long-standing tradition called tumunu, which revolves around drinking a home-made concoction called 'bush beer' while sharing tales. Various ingredients go into the brew, but the main one is either fermented bananas or oranges.
10. Bakon (Bacon Vodka)
Three fingers of Bakon help the Bloody Mary go down crispy (image: Bakon Vodka via Facebook)
Is this the perfect hangover liquor? A couple of meat-loving peeps from the USA have started infusing their vodka with crispy bacon flavours. Can it satisfy you're greasy hangover cravings? I'm not sure. But apparently it tastes like a Sunday breakfast and goes perfectly in a Bloody Mary.
11. Kwispellbier (Tail Waggin' Beer)
Okay so this drink isn't alcoholic, but how could I leave a beer specially made for dogs off this list? Now you can finally share a few brewskies with your best bud and get sloppy drunk while he/she stays sober and looks on with unbridled judgement.
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